How does it feel to be 14 years old, Toby? I’d say this past year has been more evolutionary than revolutionary for you, but that’s not to say you haven’t changed. Quite the opposite in fact.
In the same way that physically you’ve grown into your body, I think you’ve grown into your own persona too. You’re still recognisably you, but you’re now more comfortable in your own skin and better defined. It’s like a school jacket, initially two sizes too big, that you’ve grown into so that it now fits perfectly.
Growing up
You’ve grown up a lot this year in both senses of the word. A couple of inches taller: you may well overtake me before your next birthday. Broader in the shoulders but leaner in the body. More mature (most of the time, anyway) and more independent.
With every passing year, you look more and more like me. (Sorry about that, kiddo.) There’s no way we’d get away with disguising ourselves as a secret father-and-son pair, like Diane and Ross in The Traitors. (Did you know the production team codenamed them ‘The Supremes’ because, y’know, Diana Ross? They’d probably nickname us the Nerd Emojis or something like that… 
.)
New interests, old interests
I say ‘nerd’ in an affectionate way, though. You’ve always been a lover of facts. You read non-fiction and watch documentaries. When you find a new interest, you absorb everything about it. You love showing off your knowledge, and your face lights up when you get a question right on Only Connect that we don’t know the answer to.
I wonder what your specialist subject on Mastermind would be.
While many of your interests have remained consistent, your love of planes has definitely burgeoned this year. You’ve always been interested in them, but this year you’ve spent an entire day camped out by Heathrow following take-offs and landings on your camera and Flightradar. And you’ve now discovered Airfix as a pleasingly old-school hobby.
Your rollercoaster obsession continues unabated. When you’re not building them on your laptop, you’re adding new entries to your all-time ranking of rides. Our summer holiday last year in the Netherlands centred around the theme parks containing specific rides you wanted to try at Walibi and Duinrell. (And very good they were too.)
Friends & family
Like me, you’re not the sort of person who has or needs a large circle of friends. But in addition to your current schoolmates, you’ve also maintained a small network of close friends from primary school. Even though you’re now at different schools, you speak to them online regularly and see at least one of them most weekends. As much as it feels sometimes like you have to be airlifted out of your bedroom and away from your laptop, the reality is that most Saturday afternoons you’re dashing out of the house after lunch declaring, “I’m going out to meet up with X”.
Closer to home – okay, at home – I’ve noticed your relationships with both your siblings shift this year. I know it’s challenging when you’re the quiet and easily overlooked middle child, and I know you still argue most of the time, but there have been definite improvements.
Now that the two-year age gap with Isaac is less significant – you’re both in your GCSE period for starters – it seems that you have a lot more in common. And while your interests have continued to diverge, when you do come together it seems more meaningful, playing games together and watching some of the same TV shows.
Your relationship with your younger sister is more spiky – it’s not just her fault, you know – but now that she’s also at secondary school there’s definitely an occasional thawing. Particularly when it’s just the two of you, there are times when (whisper it quietly) you actually seem to enjoy each other’s company and even show signs of maybe not quite affection but at least civility. It’s something, at least.
What else?
What else is there to say?
You’re still a scruff-ball. I’m convinced you would happily live 24/7 in your dressing gown given the chance. But when you do actually get dressed, you’ll happily lounge around in your oldest, hole-iest casual clothes. And your idea of smart is putting on this season’s Arsenal shirt. We don’t ask for much generally. But on those rare occasions when some semblance of smartness is required, you are just one of those kids who looks about as comfortable in a collared shirt and smart trousers as other people do in a hazmat suit.
School seems to be going well. It’s hard to tell if you’re enjoying it because you don’t express enthusiasm about anything and even getting you to tell us about your day at the dinner table is like trying to get an honest answer out of a politician. But, despite your refusal to put in anything beyond the bare minimum of effort, exams seem to come naturally to you. You may never reach your maximum academic potential – much to your mother’s and my exasperation – but you’re smart enough to do well enough, and that’s not the worst thing in the world. (At least, that’s what I keep reminding myself.)
Other than that, you’ve given your mum and me many reasons to be proud of you. Long may that continue. I’m looking forward to seeing what next year brings.
Love,
Dad
