Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll be aware that the football World Cup is on at the moment.
As I’ve written elsewhere, Toby has suddenly developed something of an obsession for the beautiful game. Very timely! He now owns two footballs, plus a new Arsenal kit, shin pads and boots. And I’m pretty sure he could confidently go on Mastermind with ‘the history of the World Cup’ as his specialist subject.
In between watching games, playing FIFA on the Xbox and filling in World Cup wallcharts, he’s also demonstrated some decent basic skills when we’ve gone out for a kickabout. It won’t be long until he’s running rings around me and I have to resort to hacking him down in full flow.
So, of course, I had to write a musical parody.
But which song to choose? It soon came down to a choice of two classic England anthems: The Lightning Seeds’ Three Lions and New Order’s World in Motion. I ran a Twitter poll, which came down in favour of Three Lions. So of course I’ve opted for World in Motion. Why? It’s as brilliant a football song as it is a terrible New Order track. And it has that John Barnes rap, which was the clincher for me. So, here goes nothing …
A Boy Obsessive (to the tune of World in Motion)
The World Cup’s on
Live from Russia
On BBC1
With G Lineker
ITV
Have their show
They win the prize for
Their studio
The World Cup’s on
Live from Russia
The World Cup’s on
Live from Russia
The World Cup’s on
Our boy’s enthralled
From Uruguay
To En-ger-land
Toby’s a boy obsessive
Filling in his own wallchart
Toby’s a boy obsessive
World Cup fever’s in his heart
Watch all the games
Memorise the score
He takes it all in
Win, defeat or draw
Analyse
What pundits say
The World Cup’s on
Three times every day
The World Cup’s on
Live from Russia
The World Cup’s on
Live from Russia
The World Cup’s on
Our boy’s enthralled
From Uruguay
To En-ger-land
Toby’s a boy obsessive
Filling in his own wallchart
Toby’s a boy obsessive
World Cup fever’s in his heart
Toby’s a boy obsessive
Filling in his own wallchart
Toby’s a boy obsessive
World Cup fever’s in his heart
He’s bought an Arsenal strip
And keeps it on all the time
He wants to kick a ball
I’d rather be drinking wine
He’ll always run rings around me
I’ve got a bad back
What can I do to defeat him?
Cheat, dive and hack
Catch him if you can
Cos he’s an England fan
And what he believes in
Is the Southgate plan
A blogger’s parody
New Order’s football song
Rewrite the lyrics now
Don’t get the rhyming wrong
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
I’m singing this song
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
Go Gareth Southgate, don’t let us down
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
I’m singing this song
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
Go Raheem Sterling, don’t let us down
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
I’m singing this song
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
Go Marcus Rashford, don’t let us down
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
I’m singing this song
He’s cheering for England (En-ger-land)
Go Dele Alli, don’t let us down
And here’s the original video, complete with in-game footage of Chris Waddle’s mullet and Lily Allen’s dad Keith generally arsing about with the band.
Parenting parodies
Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)
Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)
Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)
Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))
Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)
Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)
iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)
When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)
Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)
BML (to the tune of Let It Go)
Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)
Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast At Tiffany’s)
Halloween (to the tune of Beautiful)
Smells Like Boys’ Bedrooms (to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit)
Stay in Bed till Eight (to the tune of Stay Another Day)
On My Blog (to the tune of It’s a Sin)
Another Brick on the Floor (to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2)
Make It Stop (to the tune of Shake It Off)
Support (to the tune of Stitches)
One More Hour of Sleep (to the tune of Rolling in the Deep)
A Bedtime Story (to the tune of The Edge of Glory)
I’m Still Singing (to the tune of I’m Still Standing)
Cake at a Conference (to the tune of Cake by the Ocean)
A Weekend Blogging Conference (to the tune of The Sound of Silence)
Soft Play Down (to the tune of Disco Down)
You Can’t Have Too Much CBeebies (to the tune of The Sun Always Shines on TV)
Royal Wedding (to the tune of White Wedding)
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