It may not have the same significance as the marriage of Charles and Diana. Or even William and Kate. But when Meghan Markle walks down the aisle to exchange her vows with Prince Harry at midday tomorrow, well, it’s still a royal wedding, right?
Let me make a confession here. I’m happy for Harry and Meghan, as I am generally at the prospect of any couple tying the knot. But to me it’s not a huge buy-the-commemorative-plate deal. After all, since William’s marriage, Kate has produced an heir and two spares in George, Charlotte and Louis, demoting Harry from third to sixth in line of succession. He will never be king, which in many ways must be quite liberating for both him and Meghan.
Some people will be anxious to see which designer Meghan has chosen for her wedding dress. Will it be Ralph & Russo as rumoured, or someone else? To be honest, I wouldn’t know the difference if it had been designed by Ralph & Russo, Florence & Fred or Ant & Dec, but maybe that’s just me.
Anyhow, while I won’t be organising any street parties or hanging Union Jack bunting from the front of my house, I did feel it would be fitting to mark the occasion in the best way I know how: with a parody song.
So here for your delectation is my version of Billy Idol’s White Wedding. I bet they won’t be playing this as Meghan makes her entrance into Windsor Castle’s St George’s Chapel tomorrow …
Royal Wedding (to the tune of White Wedding)
Hey Meghan Markle, watching you smile
Hey Meghan Markle, walking down the aisle
You’re gonna marry Harry, sixth in line
Duchess of Sussex? Yeah, that would be fine
Meghan Markle, say “I do”
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
It’s a nice day for a royal wedding
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
Hey Meghan Markle, who are you wearing?
Traditional or something more daring?
Meghan Markle, say “I do” (oh yeah)
Duchess of Sussex? Yeah, that would be fine
Meghan Markle, say “I do”
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
It’s a nice day for a royal wedding
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
Wedding time!
Throw the confetti
Hey Meghan Markle, watching you smile
Hey Meghan Markle, walking down the aisle
Harry looks fine in his suit (his suit)
You were on TV in Suits (in Suits)
Paparazzi in pursuit
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain (come on)
It’s a nice day for a royal wedding
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
See your father beaming with pride
Even though he won’t be inside
While Harry will never be king
At least you will have a big ring
William can do the best man thing
Please don’t rain (come on)
It’s a nice day for a royal wedding
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
It’s a nice day, so please don’t rain
And here is the original Billy Idol video which is, er, interesting.
Parenting parodies
Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)
Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)
Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)
Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))
Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)
Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)
iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)
When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)
Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)
BML (to the tune of Let It Go)
Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)
Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast At Tiffany’s)
Halloween (to the tune of Beautiful)
Smells Like Boys’ Bedrooms (to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit)
Stay in Bed till Eight (to the tune of Stay Another Day)
On My Blog (to the tune of It’s a Sin)
Another Brick on the Floor (to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2)
Make It Stop (to the tune of Shake It Off)
Support (to the tune of Stitches)
One More Hour of Sleep (to the tune of Rolling in the Deep)
A Bedtime Story (to the tune of The Edge of Glory)
I’m Still Singing (to the tune of I’m Still Standing)
Cake at a Conference (to the tune of Cake by the Ocean)
A Weekend Blogging Conference (to the tune of The Sound of Silence)
Soft Play Down (to the tune of Disco Down)
You Can’t Have Too Much CBeebies (to the tune of The Sun Always Shines on TV)
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