A BiB Awards 2018 parody song: Readers’ Choice

It’s that time of year again. Nominations for the 2018 BritMums Brilliance in Blogging Awards – the BiBs – are open. Which means it’s time for me (and other bloggers) to ask you for your vote. Pretty please.

This year’s results will be announced online in October. As last year, there are 11 categories, ranging from Family & Lifestyle, Food and Fresh Voice (for blogs less than 18 months old) to the one I would like to be considered in, Readers’ Choice:

Sometimes there are blogs that don’t fit into any one category but we simply adore them. [The] Readers’ Choice category [is] perfect for those blogs that are among our favourites but defy categorisation.

Why Readers’ Choice? And why me?

To be very un-British for a moment and bang my own drum, I would say I’m one of the more distinctive and versatile bloggers out there. Yes, I know we all say that, so let me give you some evidence to back up that claim.

A lot of my content revolves around parenting. I love writing about our three kids and recording my memories of them. For instance, there’s this post about how Kara’s absence for a few days made me appreciate her more (with some gratuitous Greatest Showman references thrown in).

But I tackle wider issues too, such as the increasingly less private world our kids are growing up in.

Not everything is serious, of course, particularly when it comes to my parody songs. During the World Cup I mulled over Toby’s all-consuming obsession and England’s path to the semi-final in musical (albeit off-key) form. You can check out more of my parodies via the links at the bottom of this post. My personal favourite from the past year is my CBeebies-themed version of a-ha’s The Sun Always Shines on TV.

In my day job, I’m responsible for social media across 19 countries. Occasionally I’ll share my thoughts on the latest industry developments such as the launch of IGTV or Facebook deprioritising pages in their algorithm.

And I’ve also reflected on my own place in the blogging world. These posts seem to really resonate with fellow bloggers, in particular We can’t all be the Taylor Swift of the blogging world and, more recently, The blogger who wasn’t really a blogger.

Finally, for two years I hosted the Meet the Parents podcast. That has ended now but I have a new project in the pipeline which hopefully will launch in September.

And that’s me. I don’t really fit neatly into a single niche. If anything, my niche is me.

This year’s BiB Awards parody is …

As is now traditional, I’ve framed my request for your vote in the form of a parody song – my 32nd in all. I’ve previously reworked the Beatles’ Let It Be and Shawn Mendes’ Stitches. This year it’s the turn of You’re Welcome from Moana. As I discovered, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has a much better singing voice than I gave him credit for. In particular, that rap is *hard*. Whereas I put the ‘rap’ in ‘crap’. (You have been warned.)

In my version, I’ve outlined some of the reasons why you should consider voting for me, as well as recounting the time I got up on stage in front of 500 people to sing my BML bloggers’ keynote (my parody of the Psychedelic Furs’ Pretty in Pink).

Readers’ Choice (to the tune of You’re Welcome)

Okay, okay
So it’s that time of the year
That time when bloggers beg you for your vote
No ceremony to go to, it’s all done online
Well, at least this year we won’t be on a boat
I’ll tell you why I should win
Yes, it should be me and not Hurrah for Gin
Cos I write a lot: the songs, the blog
And host podcasts ‘bout bringing up sprogs

Where should you vote for me? Readers’ Choice
ThatchamDad, yeah, he’s your guy
Not Video, not Photo, Readers’ Choice
I’d love to win this year, not gonna lie

Hey, who has a blog who catches your eye?
When you are browsing online? This guy!
Doesn’t fit a mould, his writing eloquent and bold?
You’re looking at him, yo!
Yes, it’s true I’ve been here before (Readers’ Choice)
Watched others win, cheered ‘til I’m sore
Would love to taste victory (Readers’ Choice)
A happy guy I sure would be

So, where should you vote for me? Readers’ Choice
I don’t think I would win Family
I don’t fit Fresh Voice or Travel – Readers’ Choice
Beauty and Fashion really isn’t me
Readers’ Choice, Readers’ Choice

So, this I will admit
Folks, honestly, I will do anything
Give me a chance, I will happily stand and sing
2016, I think
I was on stage doing Pretty in Pink
I am unique, I have my own voice
And that is why I’m the obvious choice
What makes me blog? What does inspire me?
What makes ThatchamDad embark on a writing spree?
As I find every year to my cost
I start out full of hope, end up lost
A finalist, always bridesmaid and not the bride
I keep writing new parodies, so now I’m rapping

Well, anyway, don’t delay, Readers’ Choice
I will ask but I will not beg
You have your say, your say, Readers’ Choice
Well, maybe if it’s close, I’ll sell a leg
So make today the day, Readers’ Choice
To rivals, I’d wish good luck
Will you make my day, my day, Readers’ Choice
But in truth I don’t really give a f***
Readers’ Choice, Readers’ Choice

And thank you!

And here’s the original. Maui is slightly less muscular than me, obviously.

Now what?

Anyhow, that’s as much begging as I’m going to do. I won’t be offended if you don’t vote for me. Most importantly, whether you nominate me or anyone else, if you enjoy reading blogs do please show your support for your favourites by taking a few minutes to vote for them.

You can vote in any or all of the 11 categories via the BiBs 2018 nominations form.

If you want to nominate me, please do so in the Readers’ Choice Award. This is the final category listed on the form (section 14). You only need to complete the first two, as follows:

Blog name: Slouching towards Thatcham.

Blog URL: https://slouchingtowardsthatcham.com.

I was shortlisted in the final ten for this award in 2016 and was one of the finalists last year. Will it be third time lucky? Who knows?

You don’t have to nominate someone in every category but this is your chance to publicly recognise the efforts of your favourite bloggers. Your votes will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks all – and good luck to everyone.

Nominations close at 11:59pm on Friday 31st August.

Parenting parodies

Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)

Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)

Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)

Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)

Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))

Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)

Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)

iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)

When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)

Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)

BML (to the tune of Let It Go)

Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)

Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast At Tiffany’s)

Halloween (to the tune of Beautiful)

Smells Like Boys’ Bedrooms (to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit)

Stay in Bed till Eight (to the tune of Stay Another Day)

On My Blog (to the tune of It’s a Sin)

Another Brick on the Floor (to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2)

Make It Stop (to the tune of Shake It Off)

Support (to the tune of Stitches)

One More Hour of Sleep (to the tune of Rolling in the Deep)

A Bedtime Story (to the tune of The Edge of Glory)

I’m Still Singing (to the tune of I’m Still Standing)

Cake at a Conference (to the tune of Cake by the Ocean)

A Weekend Blogging Conference (to the tune of The Sound of Silence)

Soft Play Down (to the tune of Disco Down)

You Can’t Have Too Much CBeebies (to the tune of The Sun Always Shines on TV)

Royal Wedding (to the tune of White Wedding)

A Boy Obsessive (to the tune of World In Motion)

Instagram (to the tune of Vienna)

Three Lions 2018 (to the tune of Three Lions ’98)


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