Bloggers seem to have a real love-hate relationship with Instagram at the moment. So now seemed like a good time to give it the parody treatment.
On the one hand, the photo-based social platform continues to go from strength to strength. Just a couple of weeks ago they launched their new video platform IGTV while announcing they had reached one billion active users. And last week they reported that Instagram Stories – which doesn’t celebrate its second birthday until next month – had passed 400 million daily users.
And yet Instagram’s algorithm – which determines the order of a user’s feed – remains a source of aggravation. It’s widely (though unfairly) blamed for falling levels of likes and comments, the lifeblood of bloggers’ credibility with paying brands.
The pressure to keep producing Insta-worthy content in the context of falling engagement levels can be considerable for many bloggers. And yet it is a platform no serious influencer can ignore.
Personally, I really enjoy Instagram. But then I don’t have any ambitions to earn fame or fortune from it, so I can afford to relax.
Anyhow, the song I’ve chosen as the basis for my Instagram parody is the Ultravox classic Vienna. The song holds the distinction of being voted Britain’s favourite single to ever peak at number two in the charts in a 2012 poll run by BBC Radio 2 and the Official Charts Company. It spent four weeks there in 1981, where it was held off the top spot by Joe Dolce’s novelty song Shaddap You Face. (If you’re of a certain age, you’ll know it. If not, look it up on YouTube. It puts the ‘no’ in novelty.)
Instagram (to the tune of Vienna)
Publish a picture
Agonise over the caption
Need something witty
Add three emojis and a location
List out 30 hashtags
What filter to use? Maybe Clarendon
It doesn’t look so bad
The image I post
Will it thrive or die
In the algorithm?
Hate that algorithm
Oh, Instagram
Now Stories is booming
And then there’s IGTV too
More content to create
I’m scrolling all night, swiping endlessly
I’m getting RSI
And what’s it all for? Getting fewer likes
It makes me want to cry
The image I post
Will it thrive or die
In the algorithm?
Hate that algorithm
Oh, Instagram
Hate that algorithm
Hate that algorithm
Oh, Instagram
And here’s the original video, an atmospheric affair with a passing nod to The Third Man. It was shot in both Vienna and London – the eagle-eyed will recognise the opening location as Covent Garden.
Singer Midge Ure sports a very 80s pencil moustache and sideburns here. He would go on to co-write Band Aid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas? with Bob Geldof. And he also notched up a solo number one in 1985 with the grammatically incorrect If I Was. (He should, of course, have used the subjunctive form, If I Were. But you knew that, right?)
Parenting parodies
Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)
Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)
Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)
Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))
Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)
Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)
iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)
When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)
Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)
BML (to the tune of Let It Go)
Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)
Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast At Tiffany’s)
Halloween (to the tune of Beautiful)
Smells Like Boys’ Bedrooms (to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit)
Stay in Bed till Eight (to the tune of Stay Another Day)
On My Blog (to the tune of It’s a Sin)
Another Brick on the Floor (to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2)
Make It Stop (to the tune of Shake It Off)
Support (to the tune of Stitches)
One More Hour of Sleep (to the tune of Rolling in the Deep)
A Bedtime Story (to the tune of The Edge of Glory)
I’m Still Singing (to the tune of I’m Still Standing)
Cake at a Conference (to the tune of Cake by the Ocean)
A Weekend Blogging Conference (to the tune of The Sound of Silence)
Soft Play Down (to the tune of Disco Down)
You Can’t Have Too Much CBeebies (to the tune of The Sun Always Shines on TV)
Royal Wedding (to the tune of White Wedding)
A Boy Obsessive (to the tune of World In Motion)
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