Cake at a Conference: A blogging event parody

It’s peak blogging event season this month, with BritMums’ BML conference taking place in London at the end of the month. But before then on Sunday 24th I will be heading up to Manchester to attend BlogOn.

Welcoming just under 200 attendees, BlogOn is big without being so big that it becomes too intimidating for first-timers. The goodie bags are legendary – if you’re coming for the first time, when people say that you must bring an empty suitcase, they’re not joking. And the cake is pretty legendary too. Blogging events and cake are synonymous, but BlogOn generally succeeds in taking cake at a conference to a new level.

Which, funnily enough, provides the inspiration for my latest musical parody. That and the return of The Great British Bake Off in its new home on Channel 4 and with a new presenting line-up. And what better song to use for this than DNCE’s top five debut single, Cake by the Ocean?

Even if you don’t know your creme pat from your Postman Pat, feel free to sing along now. (It will help drown out my out-of-tune singing, if nothing else.)

And no, I won’t be singing this at BlogOn. Not unless someone brings a karaoke machine …

Cake at a Conference (to the tune of Cake by the Ocean)

Breakfast
See you moping round like you’re on Slim-Fast
Thought the time for dieting was long past?
Got a skinny waistline, when’d you eat last, eat last?

Waste time with those salad leaves, don’t waste time with those salad leaves
You should eat cake with me, you should eat cake with me, ah
Take this opportunity, take this opportunity
Stop watching those calories, let’s quit going gluten-free

Eat with me, baby
I’m starving hungry with sugar craving, whoa-oh
Go to BlogOn and eat lemon drizzle
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference
Watch Bake Off, baby
I’ll be Prue Leith, you be Noel Fielding, whoa-oh
Go to BlogOn and eat lemon drizzle
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference

Meringue
See you taking cupcakes from a cake stand
Want a maccaron or sponge filled with jam
My mouth is full of frosting, grabbed some and ran, and ran, oh

Waste time with those salad leaves, don’t waste time with those salad leaves
You should eat cake with me, you should eat cake with me, ah
Take this opportunity, take this opportunity
Stop watching those calories, let’s quit going gluten-free

Eat with me, baby
I’m starving hungry with sugar craving, whoa-oh
Go to BlogOn and eat lemon drizzle
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference
Watch Bake Off, baby
I’ll be Prue Leith, you be Noel Fielding, whoa-oh
Go to BlogOn and eat lemon drizzle
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference

Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference

It’s so delicious
Cake for bloggers

Eat with me, baby
I’m starving hungry with sugar craving, whoa-oh
Go to BlogOn and eat lemon drizzle
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference
Watch Bake Off, baby
I’ll be Prue Leith, you be Noel Fielding, whoa-oh
Go to BlogOn and eat lemon drizzle
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference

Creme anglais, vanilla, cheesecake, bring it on
Orange rind, we don’t mind, we’ll eat it at BlogOn
Creme anglais, vanilla
Ah ya ya ya ya let’s not feel guilty, we’ll eat cake at a conference

And here is the original DNCE video (note: explicit lyrics).

Parenting parodies

Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)

Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)

Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)

Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)

Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))

Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)

Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)

iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)

When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)

Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)

BML (to the tune of Let It Go)

Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)

Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast At Tiffany’s)

Halloween (to the tune of Beautiful)

Smells Like Boys’ Bedrooms (to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit)

Stay in Bed till Eight (to the tune of Stay Another Day)

On My Blog (to the tune of It’s a Sin)

Another Brick on the Floor (to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2)

Make It Stop (to the tune of Shake It Off)

Support (to the tune of Stitches)

One More Hour of Sleep (to the tune of Rolling in the Deep)

A Bedtime Story (to the tune of The Edge of Glory)

I’m Still Singing (to the tune of I’m Still Standing)

———-

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