As great as life is with our children, there are things I miss about our pre-kids lifestyle.
The flexibility to book a last-minute holiday. Random evenings out on a whim. And the ability to have a weekend lie-in whenever we felt like it – a cup of tea with the Sunday papers, followed by a late morning fry-up.
Nowadays anything the right side of half past six counts as a lie-in. And even then the final portion of the night is spent with at least one child tucked up with us trying to gently nudge me out of bed at best – and kicking me in the head at worst.
Sound familiar to anyone?
Nowadays weekend mornings frequently involve downing half a gallon of coffee in an attempt to wake up enough to drive Kara to gym class or to head into town with the boys to run errands.
With that in mind, I have drawn inspiration from Adele to pen a plaintive little ditty about my desire to get just a little bit more sleep at weekends. It doesn’t have to be much – just an hour would be enough.
Enjoy!
One More Hour of Sleep (to the tune of Rolling in the Deep)
There’s a small child climbing into bed
Positioned upside down, she’s whacking me in the head
Alarm clock says I should be sound asleep
Children are wide awake, it makes me want to weep
All I want is to get to half past six
Without a child who thinks I just want to be kicked
I’m so tired, deep down in my soul
Weary right to my core
And it makes me feel less than whole
Our life before kids was full of lie-ins
On Sunday mornings we would laze around in bed
We read the papers, put on the telly
But now I’m yearning
I want to stay in bed
One more hour of sleep
I want to crawl back under the sheets
But the kids won’t let us be
Driving places, I’m barely half awake
Need triple espresso
So much caffeine I start to shake
Learning to grab a quick nap here and there
Every time I sit
I’m dozing in the chair
Our life before kids was full of lie-ins
On Sunday mornings we would laze around in bed
We read the papers, put on the telly
But now I’m yearning
I want to stay in bed
One more hour of sleep
I want to crawl back under the sheets
But the kids won’t let us be
I want to stay in bed
One more hour of sleep
I want to crawl back under the sheets
But the kids won’t let us be
Seven-thirty, bedtime stories done
Eat our dinner and watch BBC1
Now’s the chance to enjoy child-free time
Instead we fall asleep after one glass of wine
I want to stay in bed
I want to stay in bed
In bed, in bed, in bed
I want to stay in bed
One more hour of sleep
I want to crawl back under the sheets
But the kids won’t let us be
I want to stay in bed
One more hour of sleep
I want to crawl back under the sheets
But the kids won’t
The kids won’t
The kids won’t
The kids won’t let us be
And here is the original Adele track.
Parenting parodies
Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)
Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)
Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)
Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))
Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)
Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)
iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)
When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)
Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)
BML (to the tune of Let It Go)
Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)
Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast At Tiffany’s)
Halloween (to the tune of Beautiful)
Smells Like Boys’ Bedrooms (to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit)
Stay in Bed till Eight (to the tune of Stay Another Day)
On My Blog (to the tune of It’s a Sin)
Another Brick on the Floor (to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2)
Make It Stop (to the tune of Shake It Off)
Support (to the tune of Stitches)
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