What if East 17 had written Stay Another Day about Christmas Day with kids?

I can’t be the only parent dreading being woken up early on Christmas morning by overexcited kids. If you’re in the same boat, then this month’s parody song is for you.

Despite the sleigh bells that form part of the backing track and the snow-laden video, East 17’s Stay Another Day isn’t actually a Christmas song as such. Indeed, it’s reputed that band member Tony Mortimer wrote the track about his brother Ollie, who committed suicide. Not particularly festive, eh?

Nonetheless, it was 1994’s Christmas number one song – the band’s only UK chart-topping single – and has rightly become a modern seasonal classic, earning heavy rotation on music and video stations every December.

But what if the song’s lyrics had been written from the viewpoint of a parent of young children as Christmas approaches? Might it have ended up something like this (albeit somewhat more in tune)?

Listen for yourself …

Stay in Bed till Eight (to the tune of Stay Another Day)

Children if you’re going to be awake
Cannot sleep in on Christmas Day
Will you stay in bed till eight?
Please don’t wake us all up at four
Or we’ll lock all the bedroom doors
Will you stay in bed till eight?

Yes we know it’s so exciting
Run downstairs
And find your presents by the tree
But for mum and dad it’s early
A lie-in would make us both oh so glad
We’ll play all day and then cook turkey
All that we ask is
Will you stay in bed till eight?

Children if you’re going to be awake
Cannot sleep in on Christmas Day
Will you stay in bed till eight?
Please don’t wake us all up at four
Or we’ll lock all the bedroom doors
Will you stay in bed till eight?

We’ll keep smiling through all the chaos
We’ll build your toys
And find the right size batteries
Instruction manuals deciphered
Pink Hatchimals
Playstation games and Christmas socks

Children if you’re going to be awake
Cannot sleep in on Christmas Day
Will you stay in bed till eight?
Please don’t wake us all up at four
Or we’ll lock all the bedroom doors
Will you stay in bed till eight?

Children if you’re going to be awake
Cannot sleep in on Christmas Day
Will you stay in bed till eight?
Please don’t wake us all up at four
Or we’ll lock all the bedroom doors
Will you stay in bed till eight?

Children if you’re going to be awake
Cannot sleep in on Christmas Day
Will you stay in bed till eight?
Please don’t wake us all up at four
Or we’ll lock all the bedroom doors
Will you stay in bed till eight?

And here is the original from 1994.

Parenting parodies

Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)

Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)

Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)

Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)

Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))

Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)

Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)

iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)

When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)

Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)

BML (to the tune of Let It Go)

Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)

Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast At Tiffany’s)

Halloween (to the tune of Beautiful)

Smells Like Boys’ Bedrooms (to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit)

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