Dinner at Maccy D’s: A fast-food parody

It’s been a while since my last parody song, so here goes nothing!

Picture the scene. You’re on your way home from a big day out. It’s late. You’re still 100 miles from home. The kids are tired and hungry.

What do you do?

Do you stop for a proper sit-down meal, somewhere that serves good, wholesome food? Or do you wolf down something quick with little actual nutritional value – say, at that place with the golden arches – and get back on the road as quickly as possible?

We’ve all been there, right?

I don’t know about you but we always said that wouldn’t be us. But now that we have three kids with growing appetites, sometimes cheap and convenient trumps all.

In 1995 the American group Deep Blue Something cracked the top five in the US with the song Breakfast at Tiffanys and went on to top the charts in the UK. They never reached the top 100 in the US or the top 20 in the UK again – the archetypal one-hit wonders.

Breakfast at Tiffanys is a song about a couple on the verge of breaking up. I’ve reworked it to provide the viewpoint of two parents debating whether to succumb to the lure of McDonald’s at the end of a long day.

Does this sound at all familiar to anyone?

(The usual caveats about my inability to hold a tune apply. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Dinner at Maccy D’s (to the tune of Breakfast at Tiffany’s)

We say we don’t eat at McDonald’s
No Happy Meals for our kids
But where else can we go?
It’s late, the journey home’s a long one
A restaurant might be fun
But I just want to get home

So I said “What about dinner at Maccy D’s?”
She said “But what of our parental guilt?
And as I recall, I think we both kind of hate it”
And I said “Well, it’s the best choice we’ve got”

We queue, in line with all the others
None of us fast-food lovers
We looked very glum
So what now? McNuggets or fish fingers?
Nobody wants to linger
With so far still to go

So I said “What about dinner at Maccy D’s?”
She said “But what of our parental guilt?
And as I recall, I think we both kind of hate it”
And I said “Well, it’s the best choice we’ve got”

We said we won’t eat at McDonald’s
We’d rather have a pizza
But what else could we do?
Eat well, it’s easier said than done
A restaurant takes too long
And we just want to get home

So I said “What about dinner at Maccy D’s?”
She said “But what of our parental guilt?
And as I recall, I think we both kind of hate it”
And I said “Well, it’s the best choice we’ve got”

So I said “What about dinner at Maccy D’s?”
She said “But what of our parental guilt?
And as I recall, I think we both kind of hate it”
And I said “Well, it’s the best choice we’ve got”

So I said “What about dinner at Maccy D’s?”
She said “But what of our parental guilt?
And as I recall, I think we both kind of hate it”
And I said “Well, it’s the best choice we’ve got”

So I said “What about dinner at Maccy D’s?”
She said “But what of our parental guilt?
And as I recall, I think we both kind of hate it”
And I said “Well, it’s the best choice we’ve got”

And here is the original track.

Parenting parodies

Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)

Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)

Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)

Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)

Won’t You (Buy Something For Me) (to the tune of Don’t You (Forget About Me))

Pretty in Pink (to the tune of Pretty in Pink)

Vote For Me (to the tune of Let It Be)

iPhone (to the tune of Payphone)

When Stars Die (to the tune of When Doves Cry)

Parent Bloggers (to the tune of Single Ladies)

BML (to the tune of Let It Go)

Mummy Mummy Mummy (to the tune of Money Money Money)

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