Here’s the latest instalment of my parenting ‘ad-venture’, with three new spoof radio adverts speculating what might happen if Carslberg did parenting, if I was allowed to release an album and if someone invented a digitally automated male doll.
Enjoy.
Probably the best job in the world
If Carlsberg did parenting, it would probably be the best sub-living wage job in the world.
Please parent responsibly. If you agree to become a parent, you waive your rights to weekend lie-ins, going to the toilet undisturbed and you will wish that Jeremy Hunt had imposed a new working hours contract on you because it would probably be fairer.
Parenting Parodies – the album
He started as a complete unknown before rising to the dizzy heights of utter obscurity. They told him he should never be allowed near a microphone again. But unfortunately he didn’t listen.
Now Thatchamdad releases his debut album, Parenting Parodies. From Thatcham Rhapsody to Won’t You (Buy Something For Me), find out why the critics have described this album as ‘indescribable’.
Warning: Best listened to with industrial ear defenders. Or, better still, not listened to at all. Not available on iTunes, Spotify or in stores any time this side of hell freezing over.
D.A.D.
Don’t miss out. Ensure your child has the latest must-have accessory, the Digitally Automated Doll – DAD for short.
DAD comes in all shapes, sizes and colours to suit personal tastes. Not all versions are 100% reliable. Some models come with additional midriff spare tyre and chest-mounted airbags for comfort and protection. Economy models are powered by a low-cost combination of beer and kebabs.
Get yours today!
Warning: Do not attempt to use DAD as a sex toy without protection. Please consult with your doctor before use.
If you have any ideas for future adverts, I’d love to hear them! Who knows, they might appear on a future podcast recording …
Listen to all of these and much more on the Meet the Parents podcast. You can also follow on Twitter and Facebook and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and Android or via Spreaker or RSS feed.
Please nominate me in the Best Writer category in both the BritMums BiB Awards (closes April 13th) and the Tots100 MADs (closes April 8th) by clicking on the links below.
You will need the following details for the BiBs nomination form:
Blog name: Slouching towards Thatcham
Blog URL: http://slouchingtowardsthatcham.com
Twitter ID: @thatchamdad
Favourite post (suggested): https://slouchingtowardsthatcham.com/2016/01/14/a-few-thoughts-on-grief-and-legacy/
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