In case you hadn’t noticed, this coming Sunday is February 14th: Valentine’s Day.
It’s a day on which couples underline the love they have for each other throughout the rest of the year by sharing small tokens of affection. Or, failing that, it’s an opportunity to buy lots of expensive, clichéd gifts in a last-minute panic-buying frenzy in an attempt to make up for all the times you’ve been a less than outstanding partner.
So, looking forward to this weekend, here is my musical tribute to all the men (and women) who will be opening their wallets to make their loved ones feel valued and appreciated.
I’ve used Simple Minds’ Don’t You (Forget About Me) as the foundation for this parody, a song which needs little introduction. The signature track from 1985’s The Breakfast Club, the definitive ‘Brat Pack’ coming-of-age movie, it was an anthem for a generation seeking to establish its own identity.
Won’t You (Buy Something For Me)
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh, oh
Next Sunday’s Valentine’s Day
Don’t be a fool, gifts are romantic, baby
Send me some perfume and chocs
Giving me luxury, not some more socks
And if you want to win the day
Don’t just go giving me expensive lingerie
Mess up and I’ll have a rant
And you won’t get into my pants, baby
Won’t you buy something for me?
Won’t, won’t, won’t, won’t
Won’t you buy something for me?
Will you show some romance?
Be a gent, take your chance
Time is running, time is running
Out, out, out
February 14th
Make an effort for one day
Time is running, time is running
Out, out, out, out
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh, oh
Don’t leave it till the last hour
Won’t have you buying petrol station flowers
I want a nice card to show you’re not thoughtless
Modern man not Neanderthal
Won’t you buy something for me?
Don’t be a fool, gifts are romantic, baby
Going to give you one chance
How about a weekend in France, baby?
Won’t you buy something for me?
Won’t, won’t, won’t, won’t
Won’t you buy something for me?
Log on Amazon
And buy gifts for me
Spend some money now
And buy gifts for me
Use your credit card
Or will you pay by cash?
Will you pay by cash?
Come on, buy me gifts
Will you buy me gifts?
I say la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
Spend some money now
And buy gifts for me
And here is the video for the original, complete with Jim Kerr’s oh-so-1980s suit.
Parenting parodies
Thatcham Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Toilet Trained (to the tune of Wonderwall)
Fairytale of Thatcham (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)
Kids in Cars (to the tune of Life on Mars)
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