The truth about New Year

As the late great John Lennon once wrote: ‘Another year over, a new one just begun’. I hope you all had a great New Year but, now that the world’s biggest party date has passed and 2015 has ticked over into 2016, here are a few wry truths about New Year from a parent’s perspective.

1. They just know, don’t they?

You can always trust your kids to bounce out of bed at an unfeasibly early hour on those mornings when you least want them to, can’t you? The little buggers. New Year’s Day is second only to Christmas Day in that respect.

New Year chart 12. What are the words again?

Every year I find myself thinking that it would be a good idea to look up the words to Auld Lang Syne some time sooner than ten seconds before midnight on New Year’s Eve.

I actually did it this year. Who knew that there were five verses in total? I struggle to remember even the first one.

New Year chart 23. Bear with a sore head

The first thing many of us think after our kids have woken us up at stupid o’clock on the morning of New Year’s Day is typically something along the lines of wondering why we had them in the first place. The second thing is probably related to the hundred tiny men operating pneumatic drills in our heads.

Now where’s the bacon?

New Year chart 34. Never again (yeah, right)

Remember that ages-old advice about not mixing your drinks? Remember how you swore you would never do it again on New Year’s Eve?

And you wonder why you always have that hangover on New Year’s Day?

New Year chart 45. Why do I never write it down?

If you’ve been off work over all or most of the last two weeks, you probably find it difficult enough to find your way back to the office, never mind anything more detailed such as your work network password.

Yeah, me too. And yes, I’ll be calling our IT helpdesk on Monday morning to ask them to reset my password. Oops.

New Year chart 56. Pointless resolutions?

I’m not a great believer in New Year resolutions, not least because – like many others – I was always terrible at keeping them. Based on a robust statistical survey of, er, no one, here is an analysis of how good people are at keeping their resolutions after both one month and at the end of the year.

New Year chart 6So my one resolution this year is not to have any resolutions. At least I’ve got a chance with that one.


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