It took until his fourth appearance in the bottom three, but eventually even The Barnacle™ couldn’t cling on at the bottom end of the public vote forever. Stefano Langone became the seventh contestant to leave the finals of American Idol after his change of pace with Ne-Yo‘s mid-tempo Closer backfired, and even J-Lo‘s fawning praise was unable to convince enough voters to save him. It was the most predictable results show of the season so far, with the final three in the exact order I forecast in my last post.
Here’s what happened in the five minutes of the hour-long results show that actually mattered.
Going, going, (Lan)gone
After 15 minutes of padding to allow Fox to fill another ad break with lucrative commercials Ryan Seacrest invites Casey and Jacob to stand, and wastes little time in telling Casey that he is safe. Jacob is told he is in the bottom of three – news that is greeted with little more than whispers of disapproval from the audience – and becomes this week’s first occupant of the Stools of Doom™.
After some more padding – the Idols go to a baseball game, try out tenpin bowling and indulge themselves at a spa – Lauren, James and Stefano are brought forward on to the stage. There’s no tension whatsoever here as this is a complete no-brainer, and even the Master of the Overly-Dramatic Pause™ can’t be bothered to string this one out. Stefano is in the bottom three, while Lauren and James are returned to the safety of the couches.
That just leaves us with Haley and Scotty – the former deserving to avoid the bottom three, the latter fully deserving of a place on the stools but never in any real danger given the size of his fan club. And so Haley joins Stefano in making her fourth trip to the Stools of Doom™. However, Seacrest immediately calls her back over and announces in a stage whisper that she is safe. Tee hee.
Jacob versus Stefano also has an entirely predictable ending, despite Seacrest’s attempt to spin it out with a spot of light banter. The writing is on the wall for Stefano, and he knows it. The only shame is that he chooses to sing out with Lately rather than End of the Road. (Well, it would have amused me, anyway.)
So Stefano finishes seventh – dead middle of the 13 finalists – which seems somehow appropriate for this purveyor of middle-of-the-road crooning. It also means that we have now lost all three wild card selections (the other two being Ashthon and Naima), which again feels entirely right. We are now left with six contestants, all of whom earned their places in the finals by right.
Next week …
Next week the top six will take on the songs of Carole King, the writer (or co-writer, with ex-husband Gerry Goffin) of a wealth of chart hits spanning over 40 years. We have already heard one King classic this season, with Lauren performing (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman, and Some Kind Of Wonderful saw several renditions during Hollywood Week.
It is a theme which should play to the strengths of the two girls – both could certainly do a good job with I Feel The Earth Move or Will You Love Me Tomorrow – and also Casey, whose unique sound lends itself to songs like It Might As Well Rain Until September or You’ve Got a Friend. Jacob, James and Scotty may have to get more creative with their selections and arrangements, although Jacob may be able to fall back on The Reason, which King co-wrote for Celine Dion.
Personally, I’m hoping to see Scotty give the McCreery Country Makeover™ to The Loco-Motion. (Bet you didn’t know it was co-written by King and Goffin.) What’s that I see overhead? Oh, airborne bacon …
American Idol posts
Auditions: New Jersey, New Orleans, Milwaukee, Nashville, Austin, Los Angeles, San Francisco
Hollywood Week: Solo auditions, Group round, Final round
Las Vegas & Green Mile: Las Vegas & Green Mile part 1, Green Mile part 2
Semi-finals: Boys, Girls, Results/wild cards
Top 13: Performances, Results
Top 12: Performances, Results
Top 11: Performances, Results
Top 11 redux: Performances, Results
Top 9: Performances, Results
Top 8: Performances, Results
Top 7: Performances
Link: American Idol website