I’ve said previously that Twitter is one of my core social networking outlets, largely because it’s a quick and easy way to send and receive personal updates, news and links no matter where I am. It’s also a great source of off-the-cuff humour on topical events – at least three or four times a week, I will genuinely laugh out loud at a tweet I’ve just read.

Here are a few of my favourites from the past month:

World Cup

Fabio Capello has named the team he’d like to take to the World Cup. Spain. (@elshanson)

Adrian Chiles is presenting The One-One Show. (@robertflorence, during England’s 1-1 draw with the USA.)

Steven Gerrard: “The whole team is behind Rob Green”. In retrospect, that’s a good place to stand. (@rustyrockets aka Russell Brand, after the England v USA game.)

Not since Bush-Gore have Americans gotten so excited about a tie. (@fivethirtyeight, also after England v USA.)

I think we should replace the three lions with three tampons due to English football’s worst period in years. (@Welshbybirth)

iPhone 4 launch

Steve Jobs just unveiled a miniaturized iPad with the potential to make phone calls if you aren’t on AT&T. (@kellyoxford)

 

BP oil spill/Sarah Palin

Suggestion for BP: Use Sarah Palin’s giant mouth to cap the leak. (@kellyoxford)

Sarah Palin officially blames environmentalists for BP spill. That’s like blaming smart people for Sarah Palin. (@JohnFugelsang)

Sarah Palin thinks irony is a vitamin supplement. (@DCdebbie)

What is Twitter?

Twitter reminds me of a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening & closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it. (@5stevenw)

TWITTER = (T)his (W)onderful (I)nternet (T)hing (T)hat’ll (E)ventually (R)uin your life. (@NileyDorks)

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan has wisdom teeth removed. Only time you’ll hear the words Lindsay Lohan and wisdom in the same sentence. (@denisleary)

If [comedian James] Corden gets shot and the crime scene restricted, then the headline “Corden: offed, cordoned off” will be a keeper. (@BinaryDad)

Miscellaneous

I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome. (@5tevenw)

There are three stages to sex in a person’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. (@5tevenw)