For sale: ‘Classic’ Ford Father/Honda Husband (1970, original Mark I model).

Reason for sale: Current owner is in the market for a newer model. Will consider outright sale or part-exchange.

Condition:

• Performance: 0-6 mph takes quite a while. (Not sure whether he’s still capable of going any faster.)
• Quite heavy – balance and handling not what they once were.
• Dodgy suspension (old knee injuries).
• Requires regular refuelling (three times a day, plus snacks).
• Can take a while to get started on cold mornings (operates better after his first coffee of the day).
• Otherwise in reasonable condition, normal wear and tear expected from having three children.

Extras:

• Comes equipped with the latest electronic gadgets.
• Fully inflated spare tyre, stored around the midriff for ease of handling.

Summary: A former high-performance model. Now slightly battered, fairly high mileage but still reliable and suitable for local shopping trips and running errands.